Weekend Insight

Busy weekend…and one worth writing about. My former mother-in-law and I traveled to Atlanta over the weekend to visit my son (her grandson) and his wife. They moved there July 31st so that Paul could attend graduate school, and since Amanda’s parents took on the task of helping them move, I stayed out of the way until the coast was clear, so to speak. I figured they’d probably like a couple of weeks of being alone together in their new environment before more family pounced on them. Still, enough is enough, and I couldn’t wait a day longer to see their apartment and their environs. It’s a Mom thing.

 

If anyone with a son is out there reading this, you can appreciate the scanty information I’ve received from Paul since they’ve lived in GA. One day on the phone, I asked what he’d been up to, and he said, “Not much.” Determined to learn more, I said something like, “Okay, well what I really want to know if you’ve laughed some this week, learned something new, seen something you’ve never seen, discovered something about married life, or tasted a new food. Just give me something, Bud. Have you experienced any of that stuff?” His answer, “Yes, a little of all of it.” He’s such a…a guy! Bottom line: I had to see him, Amanda, and their new digs for myself so off we went.

 

We finally arrived in the early afternoon, and after lunch, they took us on a tour of the vicinity around their apartment, a tour that included the Atlanta temple, several shopping areas, Argosy University, some of the hugest McMansions I’ve ever seen (where do people get that kind of $$$?), and several hospitals and businesses. The area is beautiful, plentiful with hills and trees and tons of atmosphere. We shopped a little, ate dinner, and made a round through Target before going home to look at DVDs and talk. The next morning we attended church together before bidding farewell to the lovebirds, and as we drove out of the parking lot, I took one last look at the two of them with their arms around each other and KNEW that they were going to be just fine.

 

The point of this post is not to deluge the reader with the fine details of the weekend but rather to remind her or him of the most important force in the entire world: LOVE. Though it sounds a bit trite, people and our connections and relationships with them are more important than anything money can buy.

 

All of us are in the dead center of a net of relationships with others, both past and present. When people in Atlanta meet Paul and Amanda, they see the two of them. Yet these two young people, just like all the rest of us, have parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, friends, former co-workers, and others who love them very much. But when you see either of them, you don’t see those other invisible yet caring people. It’s the same with you…and with me too.

 

That network has helped to bring us to where we are now and will continue to sustain and support us. I’m not going to get to carried away here (duty calls), but I’ve thought many times of my parents and grandparents and even great grandparents and how they continue to influence and affect me. Lately I’ve begun thinking of people I haven’t met yet, like future grandchildren, who will also be part of the net. As far as that goes, I’m also part of an iFamily net; so are you.

 

Love is the key to everything, the force that keeps us sane and courageous and warm, and as my sweet mama used to say, “People are more important than things.”

Author: jayne bowers

*married with children, stepchildren, grandchildren, in-laws, ex-laws, and a host of other family members and fabulous friends *semi-retired psychology instructor at two community colleges *writer

7 thoughts on “Weekend Insight”

  1. “you can appreciate the scanty information I’ve received”

    I so muchh EFFORT, to talk about what’s going on. First you have to verbally ‘set the stage’ so that whoever it is knows what’s going on. Sometimes that means you have to explain a person, how you know them – who they are – what their personality is like, sometimes it’s a place.

    You can’t just say “Oh, Charley taught me how to flyfish”. Who’s Charley? Why on earth would you want to flyfish? How did this come up? Did you catch anything? If you did, did you eat it? How did you cook it? Was anybody injured?

    It’s just easier to say “same thing, different day”.

    ———————
    I agree, people ate war more important than things.

  2. Hmmm…different perspective…no son, my daughters call me everyday and tell me everything.
    I guess I take that for granted. I do love my family, extended family, ifamily and all the friends I consider my “tribe”

  3. Excellent post. Having a son who is about to graduate from college and is planning on getting engaged at Christmastime, I had to chuckle.

    You observation about our networks is well-put. I wonder though, if this isn’t something we don’t really understand until we become parents of adult children.

  4. Hayden, I know why he communicates in that way, but it still drives me absolutely cuckoo (hope that’s the way you spell it). Oh, and about your spelling, I LOVE it when an extraordinarily smart person makes a mistake because then I don’t look so bad.

  5. Connie, I talk with my daughters just about everyday as well, and when I do, they’re usually pretty chatty. Even though I know that there are proven gender differences in communication, it still drives me bonkers.

  6. Ety, Thanks for visiting the blog and leaving a comment. I’ll be interested in hearing about the developments in the mother/son communication after the wedding.

    And yes, I think you’re right. Being parents of adult children is vastly different from parenting young ones. And I think the understanding of the network metaphor is different with adults as well. It’s as if younger people either “don’t get it” or they just don’t care.

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