Wedding Weekend

engagement.jpg

The BIG weekend is upon us.  My son Paul is getting married tomorrow, and my thoughts are consumed with it, “it” being the wedding itself and all of the related events and people. Will my other children arrive at the rehearsal dinner on time as they travel from distant locations ?  Will Amanda’s family find the restaurant without a hitch? Will everyone like the cuisine and the little program that we have planned? And what about tomorrow? Will the rain hold off, or will there be a deluge right before the ceremony? Later at the reception, will everyone have fun as friends and family unite to dance, chat, laugh, and of course eat the carefully selected food? Sure hope so.

At the moment, I’m trying to think of just the right words to say to the young couple at the rehearsal dinner tonight as their immediate families unite to commemorate the marriage of these two special (understatement) young people. I don’t want to drone on and on and give a lecture. Nor do I want to say something trite like, “Have a great life!” As the mother of the groom, I feel that I need to do a little better than that.

So here’s my plan. I’m going to begin by telling that they’re in the midst of a circle of people who love them and who are there to support them. They probably already know this, and yet….Then I plan read parts of a prayer that I absolutely LOVE by Marianne Williamson entitled “A Prayer for Couples.” It’s too lengthy to read all of it, and I’m afraid the guests would drift off if I read it all; besides, so far I haven’t been able to read it aloud without crying, and Paul would be mortified if his mother started the water works. Finally, I’m going to remind them of one my favorite scriptures Alma 37:37 (Counsel with the Lord in al thy doings, and he will direct thee for good….”).

Here’s one part of the prayer that I’m going to include:

“May this relationship be a burst of light.

May it be a fount of love and wisdom for us,

   for our family, for our community, for our world.

May this bond be a channel for Your love and healing,

   a vehicle of Your grace and power.

As lessons come and challenges grow,

Let us not be tempted to forsake each other.

Let us always remember that in each other we have

   the most beautiful woman, the most beautiful man,

   the strong one, the sacred one in whose arms we

   are repaired.”

Isn’t that a beautiful prayer? Do you think they’ll like it? Is there anything else I should tell them, or have I already gone overboard? Should I remind them that there’s only one letter difference between cleave and leave but that that one little c makes all the difference? Or should I stick with telling them to have a long and happy life together?

Do you have any advice for the young couple? If so, please share it, and I’ll make certain that they get it. By the way, I only want to read and pass along good stuff so don’t bother with posting negative comments about love or marriage.

Author: jayne bowers

*married with children, stepchildren, grandchildren, in-laws, ex-laws, and a host of other family members and fabulous friends *semi-retired psychology instructor at two community colleges *writer

9 thoughts on “Wedding Weekend”

  1. Wow. Your words will be most inspiring, and oh so beautiful. I think you’ve got everyting in control and know just what to say. They are so lucky to have a mom like you. Such a beautiful couple! Oh my . . . I’m sniffing too. oh my. . . I hope them the best. Here’s a toast to you and yours . . .
    Be Loved, but most importantly Be Love.

    Cordie B.

  2. Congratulations! They are a beautiful couple. I like your thoughts on the speech.

    As for advice, I managed a retirement apartment complex for a couple of years. One of the residents, an old lady (she was 80) gave a bridal shower for her grandson’s fiance. As each of the elderly women gave the bride-to-be a present, they bonked her on the head with the present and gave her some advice. (Apparently this was a very old tradition to get the bride’s attention focused on the advice.)

    Well there was one old lady that I will never forget. She was in her mid 80’s. She was a quiet, timid little person who had been married to a bishop (member of the clergy). The little old lady bonked the bride-to-be on the head, nearly knocking her out and shouted, “Fight naked!” All the women just about lost their false teeth laughing. Then she said, “No, I mean it! When you are young, the fights won’t last long and when you are old you’ll laugh yourselves silly.” It must have been good advice because she had been married over 50 years.

  3. I know it must have been such a perfect weekend for you. I’m looking forward to hearing all the details — Let’s get together soon.

  4. This is beautiful–the plans, the picture, and the words you will say.

    In June, Jerry and I will be married 52 years. My advise to the young couple is: Don’t ever consider divorce to be an option. Quarrels and disappointments will come. Work them out. Each person prepare to give 100%. It’s not a 50/50 deal. It’s 100/100. Cater to the other. Love, cherish, pamper, regard, speak kindly, and think highly. Keep in mind, though. Your spouse is human–and thus imperfect…but so are you.

    Blessings on this marriage…..and on you.

    Shirley Buxton
    http://www.shirleybuxton.wordpress.com

    Advise for you. 🙂 Calm down and enjoy the wedding. Don’t worry about all the details now. You’ve done your work. Let it happen!

  5. Janet, I love this story. I showed it to my DH, and he got a good chuckle from it too.

    Shirley, This is great advice. Seems like once the idea that divorce is a possibility, the thought “takes root” and grows. I also like your reminder that not only is your spouse an imperfect human being but so are you. So often we cast stones when really we could do a little soul searching and self-improvement of our own.

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